COMPLICATED GRIEF
Complicated Death
Survivors of a Murder
When Someone Dies by    Suicide
Trauma and Grief
Grief Support Group
According to Dr. Therese Rando* who is acknowledged as an authority on complicated grief and grief counselling, there are three conditions that add the situation of trauma to grief. They are:
  • When you have an encounter with death where there is a threat to your own survival
  • When you are suddenly faced with a massive, shocking and sudden death and mutilation of other people
  • When you are faced with the traumatic and/or mutilation death of a loved one


Dr. Rando also describes a list of symptoms that may be mistaken for complicated grief. She says that the following symptoms have often been incorrectly identified as abnormal responses to loss but they are not. These are things that naturally happen when someone is traumatized and grieving.
  1. If issues, feelings, and unresolved conflicts come up from past losses that either have or have not been dealt with.

  2. Experiencing feelings other than sadness (eg., anger or guilt) and reacting to the loss in other than psychological ways (eg. behaviorally, socially, physically).

  3. Feeling that part of the mourner has died along with the loved one.

  4. Feeling sorry for oneself to a certain extent.

  5. Having a continued relationship with the deceased.

  6. Keeping the person's room or workplace or other physical environments in such a way as to stimulate memories of the deceased.

  7. Taking actions so that others will not forget the deceased.

  8. Feeling increased vulnerability about the possibility of one's own death or the deaths of other loved ones.

  9. Being reluctant to change things or have them be changed if the deceased had been a part of them or had been alive at the time they took place. Examples would be not wanting the year to end or the decade to change; to move or take a new job; or to break up an old relationship.

  10. Feeling resentment that others continue to live whereas the loved one has died, or that others are not mourning.

  11. Experiencing temporary periods of acute grief long after the death.

  12. Experiencing some aspects of mourning that continue for many years, if not forever, and/or a course of mourning that does not decline linearly with time.


If you have concerns about the behavior of someone who has experienced a traumatic loss, talk with them about it and offer your support in arranging professional help or grief counselling. There are resources listed on this web site in communities around BC.

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