|
Around June 27th last year, my mom started getting pain in her right groin area. She went to the doctor and asked him what he thought it was. He said it was an infection and gave her some medication for it. I left for camp for 3 weeks and came back and asked her how the infection was doing. She said, "It's getting bigger." So we took her back and said, "They weren't working." The doctor said, "Keep taking the meds." Still nothing. So we asked the doctor if we could see a specialist. I remember waiting in the waiting room, thinking, "This is so dumb. She is fine. It's just an infection." She came out crying. I asked, "What's wrong?" It was then that she told me she had cancer. We didn't know what kind at that time, so we made an appointment to see an oncologist. This lady examined my mom, brought in another doctor and asked if I was ok sitting in the same room. I said, "Yes." She then told us what kind of cancer my mom had - Metastatic Malignant Melanoma. My mom had this 7 years ago. Why does she have it again? The doctor said when they did treatment last time, they missed a few cells of cancer and it spread through her body. She then told us how long my mom had to live - a year, tops. This was the second worst day of my life. Here I am sitting there listening that I have a year to see my mom. So she began radiation in hopes of making it. I thought it was stupid. She made it once, she can make it again. A couple of months later, the pain was unbearable for her. We put her into the Langley Hospice Center. She loved it!!!!!! It was then that I thought she was definately going to make it through. One day a nurse came to talk to me about my mom's condition. She also said that it might not be a good choice for me to stay with her at the Hospice anymore, that I should live with someone else and see her everyday. So I did. I moved in with my mom's best friend. I went to see her everyday. One day we got a phone call saying we better come down, my mom isn't doing too well. So we left, expecting the worst. We walked into the Hospice Center and there was my mom, a big beautiful smile on her face. She looked at me and hugged me and said, "Meggie, I'm going home. No more pain. No more. I'm going home." I thought, "God, no. How can you be doing this to me? You can't take her yet." But then I looked at her smile, and thought, "How can I deny her that?" So I knelt down beside her and said, "Mommy, when you go home, I want you to send me a postcard, ok?" She said she would but she didn't want to leave me. I said, "Mom, you know me, I'll be ok. You go home and soon, one day, I'll come to your house and I'll live with you and I'll run with you, ok?" (my mom had massive tumors. she couldn't walk) She said, "Ok." Then I did one of the hardest things. I told her to go to sleep and have a good rest and I'd see her in the morning. So I layed her down, gave her a hug and kiss and told her I loved her. That night my mom slipped into a coma state. Her spirit I think went
that night, the rest stayed behind. Couple days later, we got a call
from the Hospice Center saying my mom had died. We went to the Hospice,
meeting my dad there. We said our final goodbyes, kissing her and
hugging her. That was the hardest day of my life. I remember thinking,
"How am I ever going to make it?" So I kissed her one final time, took
her necklace her friend gave her and put it on. I never take it off.
One day I had asked my mom, "How am I going to make it?" She told me,
"You gotta be strong, no matter what you do. Stay strong." R.I.P That is her in the middle of the picture Submitted by: Meagan Ansley on June 12, 2006 |