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Masculine Grief and Feminine Grief In our society, we have assigned roles to men and women and accept ways of behaving in men and women. Women take care of the children; men do the work that requires more physical exertion. Women cry; men don't. These are very general statements and these labels and assumptions are changing dramatically as the genders become more equal and our thinking is more flexible and accepting. We generally describe men's grief as being expressed by doing things such as being in nature, physical exertion, or taking legal action of some kind. Women's grief is more emotional: crying, talking about the feelings, joining support groups. As more and more is learned about grief and grieving parents, we understand that it may not be so much that men and women grieve differently but that there are distinctly different ways that grief is expressed. We are recognizing now that there may be a way to describe a masculine way of grieving and a feminine way of grieving rather than saying that all men grieve one way and all women grieve another way. In other words, a woman may grieve in a masculine way by going out and chopping wood or running or attempting to change drunk driving laws, etc. And a man may spend his time crying and wanting to talk about the loss with other family members. Both ways of expressing the loss works for the person who is doing it. It is important to understand this concept. It is not helpful to make assumptions that someone is not grieving because: they are not grieving the way they're expected to or they are not grieving the way that you are grieving. Father's, husband's, and brother's grief will be unique, whether it be expressed in a masculine or feminine way. By honouring each person's individual grief journey, we help them heal.