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Your child's precious child has died. You are grieving the loss of your grandchild and grieving the suffering your child is going through at this terrible loss. You grieve for your child too. Somewhere back in time you may have lost a baby or child. This death may bring up long-forgotten memories or feelings of that past experience. This means that you may be grieving this child's death, your child's suffering now and maybe the death of another child, long ago. Things are very different in health care today than years ago. Nowadays, it is common to openly talk about the death and bereavement and to support the family who has lost an infant or a child. It is important to remember that our children make their own choices in life and you may not always agree with those choices. Because they have many more options available to them than you may have had in the past, they will probably deal with this loss very differently than you did. It is most helpful for you to be supportive of the choices they make rather than be critical of them. It is also important for you to discuss your feelings or opinions with someone you trust. However, while your willingness to listen and be supportive of your child in their loss is a very positive thing to do right now, this is not the best time to burden your child or their spouse with your frustrations or concerns. These feelings and reactions to death and bereavement are very natural. If you have an awareness of what is happening to you, you will be better prepared to support your child and their family at this very sad and difficult time. Adapted from A Grandparent's Sorrow. To order the complete booklet, call 503-284-8985.