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If you don't feel brave or strong, don't try to be. Dealing with grief means accepting your feelings and expressing them. Talk to someone you trust who listens without trying to fix you. If you can, cry when and where you need to and try not to worry about what other people think. It might surprise you that the strangers around you might be grieving too and will totally understand. Dealing with grief means taking time for you; read, remember, write, look at pictures, think about your day, draw, paint, run, or soak in a tub. Eat healthy food. Your mental health is affected by your physical health. Drugs and alcohol misuse will only deaden and prolong the pain when grieving. It will still be there after the effects of the drugs wear off. Rest as much as you need to. Don't do any activity you or others think you should do if you don't have the energy. Short naps may help. Keep a regular schedule that includes exercise. Keep lists to help you remember what you are supposed to be doing. Avoid people or places that are irritating. Avoid making major life decisions (moving, changing jobs). Small changes in furniture arrangement or in your routine will help you deal with your grief. Seek healing help - massage, support group, counselling. Use constructive ways to deal with anger - exercise, writing, fighting for positive change. Write a good-bye letter or prepare some other meaningful ritual such as candle lighting. Make a memory book with favourite pictures. Make a memory box with objects that belong to or remind you of the person who died. Try to do things that bring you pleasure. Accept that people will say incredibly insensitive and hurtful things when you are grieving.  They may be totally unaware because they really don't know what to say. Give yourself permission to have rough times on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Prepare a remembrance ritual. Dealing with grief means learning how to forgive yourself and others. You probably did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and experience that you had. Return to Top