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"The child wouldn't have been healthy." "What did you do wrong?" "You're young; you can always have more children." "It was meant to be." "At least you have other children." "Maybe next time you'll take better care of yourself (or your child)." "Life goes on." "You aren't going to go to the same doctor next time, are you? "Try to get pregnant as soon as you can." "You've got to be strong." "Don't cry. Everything is going to be all right." "Can't we talk about something else?" "Just be glad you didn't get to know the baby, then you'd really be sad." "It was only a miscarriage." "I know just how you feel." "It won't happen again." "I understand." The Grandparent's List of What to Say Instead "I don't know what to say, but I'll be glad to listen." "You must feel terrible." "Tell me about it." "Is there anything I can do to help?" "Help me to know how I can best be there for you." Adapted from A Grandparent's Sorrow. To order the complete booklet, call 503-284-8985.